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15 Things To Discuss Before You Get Married


Posted by Kym

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You’ve been out on a few dates. You discover you like each other and decide to go steady. Before you know it, you are engaged and eager to plan your wedding.


Before you take that giant step, here are a few things you need to do. And that includes having a heart-to-heart, no holds barred talk before you walk down the aisle. Too many couples think they can work these things out after they get married. But the truth is, many of these things when unresolved, lead to divorce.Communication is vital if a relationship is to survive. So be sure to talk through these matters before you get married or your marriage is very unlikely to survive.

  1. Likes – let your partner know what it is that your found most endearing about him or her
  2. Dislikes – be honest about what it is that turns you off or find hard to accept
  3. Are you ready – marriage is a big step, can you honestly tell each other that you are ready for better or for worse?
  4. Sex – many couples these days are abstaining from sex before marriage. So if you’ve never had sex before, you need to talk about it to set the expectations rights. What are your expectations?
  5. Gift giving - are there any unfulfilled expectations in this area of gift giving? If you are not happy with the kind of gifts or feel that you don’t get gifts often enough, talk about it. Flowers always work and there are some cute and unique ideas at Fresh Flowers in the Brisbane area & Australia wide to send to your bride-to-be.
  6. The wedding – decide on whether you are going to have a church wedding or just a civil registration. Most men are just happy to make it legally right but it’s a woman’s dream to walk down the aisle.
  7. Finances – who will be the breadwinner? Are the both of you going to work? What happens when you start having children?
  8. Where to live – are you financially able to live on your own or will you still have to live with either one of your parents? Unless you get along really well with the parents, it can cause a strain between the two of you. When do you plan to have your own home?
  9. Children – are you aligned on how many children the both of you want or can afford to have? At the rate of inflation, having even one can be a financial burden.
  10. The in-laws - love your in-laws but agree on each other being the priority and not the in-laws. Where necessary, understand and discuss how your in-laws affect you.
  11. Religion – if the both of you don’t already share the same religion what happens after marriage? Whose religion will the children follow?
  12. Children’s welfare – what’s your role in the children’s upbringing? Who and how will the children be disciplined? What schools do you want your children to go to?
  13. Household chores - gone are the days when the woman does all the chores. Talk about who is going to do what in your household so everyone helps out and there’s no confusion.
  14. Holidays – lounging by the hotel pool is holiday enough for a woman but a man will be looking for activity and adventure. Discuss how you are going to decide on holiday plans in the future so there’s no surprise, especially once the children come along.
  15. Bank accounts – are you ready for a joint account or do you still believe in maintaining individual accounts? What are the implications?

If the both of you can be truly honest with each on these 15 important matters, you know you can take on whatever else comes along in your life together. Communication is the key to a good solid and everlasting marriage.

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Kym Kym (1309 Posts)


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